The Official Newspaper for Foster County
The Official Newspaper for Foster County
Sorted by date Results 1 - 4 of 4
I’ve officially sunk to the lowest level of humanity. Yesterday evening, despite the protests of my conscience, I went out and played — close your eyes if you’re squeamish — golf. No, I’m not a millionaire. I didn’t hit the links to network or plan business acquisitions. I just went on a golf course to hit a ball around and feel smug about myself. What a horrid thing for a respectable taxpayer to do. It wasn’t even a real golf course. It was a Topgolf place. But I had to try it. I had to know wh...
When the weather turns damp and horrible and all I want to do is curl up by the radiator, my coworkers always get the bright and chirpy idea of going canoeing together. Lake temperatures tend to be somewhere between “frigid” and “freezing,” while my preferred swimming temperature is “jacuzzi.” And I’m not a fan of feeling miserable, unless I’ve just listened to an emo album. So when the old canoeing / kayaking / getting soaked in a boat idea came up, it was just bad luck that I had been indulg...
Allergies suck. This is why we should bulldoze all the trees and replace them with McDonalds. Apart from absorbing greenhouse gases, providing food, reducing erosion, housing wildlife and catching rainwater, what have trees ever done for us? They make me sick. Literally. There's pollen everywhere. It's like the Dust Bowl all over again. And tons of people are saying we should plant more. I'll explain why planting more trees is a bad idea as soon as I shake the yellow dust out of my keyboard. If...
Simplicity, simplicity. If I was really practicing it, I would have said it once. I've been trying to cut down on the clutter in my life, mostly because I keep stubbing my toes on it. But also because people say it helps you focus on the things that matter. Well, not stubbing my toes matters to me. So I've been donating or throwing out every unnecessary thing I own. It's out with my presidential bobbleheads, my chess set with the missing pieces, and my refrigerator. When you think about it, you...
