Field and Garden: Independence isn't always a virtue

When my wife and I lived in China, we taught our students that the standard way to greet an American is to ask the question “How are you?”

We explained to them that the expected answer is “I’m fine. How about you?”

The unfortunate thing is that sometimes, we’re not fine at all.

Just this week, at a meeting attended by Extension agents from various counties across our state, I was asked twice, “How’s Jeff doing?”

Both times, I hesitated, wondering if I should answer “Fine” or “The truth is, I am working under several deadlines, and I’m feeling a bit overwhelmed at the moment.”

North Dakotans tend to be a hardy, resilient bunch. When we encounter difficulty, our tendency is to put our heads down and keep working. We think, “I don’t need anyone’s help.”

But independence isn’t always a virtue.

Unresolved feelings of frustration and helplessness can build over time, leading to more serious issues including strained relationships, poor decisions and costly accidents. Prolonged stress can lead to depression.

The NDSU Extension publication “Useful Tools for Your Wellness Toolbox” presents 12 practical suggestions for better managing stress.

The recommendations include spending ten minutes each morning planning your schedule and priorities, noting three things you’re grateful for each evening and dedicating 15 minutes daily to uninterrupted conversation with a spouse or family member.

Another key recommendation is to regularly connect with a friend or a group of friends, as they can offer practical help, fresh perspectives, and a welcome distraction from stressors.

It’s not easy to share difficulties with another person. Sometimes we need the help of someone who takes the time to ask, “How are you doing? I mean, really–how are you?”

Additional ways to start the conversation include “You don’t seem yourself lately” or “How are things at home/work/school?”

When someone shows signs of stress, like mood swings, irritability, anxiety or changes in sleep and eating habits, don’t hesitate to reach out to them.

You don’t need to be a trained counselor to make a difference; sometimes, all it takes is the courage to approach someone and show that you care.

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It’s likely no surprise that farming and ranching are among the most stressful occupations in America.

While everyone faces work pressures and relationship struggles at times, farm families deal with additional uncertainties such as weather conditions, fluctuating prices, plant and animal diseases and equipment breakdowns.

Stresses can pile up, especially during planting and harvesting, resulting in physical or mental health concerns.

Individuals can take steps to reduce stress and improve health by noting and managing stress symptoms.

The steps are outlined in NDSU Extension’s publication, “Farming and Ranching in Tough Times.”

The resource can be downloaded on the NDSU Extension website.

If you prefer a paper copy, please contact the Extension office at 652-2581 or email [email protected], and I’ll be happy to send it to you.